roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

bombing:

the reason this generation is failing is because we’re not motivated enough to make money. all the people on the dollar bills are dead. they’re not relevant and teens just can’t connect. we need money with memes and beyonce on it

Anonymous asked
why ya driving on the wrong side of tha road?

ostracizedpoodle:

I need to make new friends

profiting:

"you should have went during lunch"image

sarahakele:

just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW

underwater-sexuals:

"I didn’t really ship it and then I read a fanfic" - a novel by me

thosemidnightdrives:

I WANT THE SERIES REWRITTEN TO INCLUDE THIS BECAUSE

thosemidnightdrives:

I WANT THE SERIES REWRITTEN TO INCLUDE THIS BECAUSE

prewars:

smallgovernment:

at this point I’ve nearly forgotten that pirating movies and software is illegal

flukeoffate:

gingahninjah:

sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

Reblogging for that comment

flukeoffate:

gingahninjah:

sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

Reblogging for that comment

every white drama movie ever

kobetyrant:

Becky: heather, I can’t believe you would do this to me! he’s my ex
Heather: I love him Becky! you’re just jealous
Becky: *GASPS*
Becky: *Tackles heather*
*****Starts fighting******
*****falls down stairs****
Heather & Becky: *Starts laughing while laying on the bottom step*
Heather: what are we doing? it used to never be like this?
Becky: we would never let a guy get to us like this… I promise never to change again.
Heather: *sticks out pinky*

15piecesofflare:

experminate:

thehighwayaisle:

You know sweatpants?

In Australia we call them trakky-dacks. 

im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us

we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.

disggrace:

apatheticghost:

anxiety in one screenshot

the fact that it is 2:14am makes it worse

disggrace:

apatheticghost:

anxiety in one screenshot

the fact that it is 2:14am makes it worse

highlyover-rated:

Have you ever bullshitted an assignment so hard you basically laugh after every sentence you write

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