>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl
>she then tells me to talk dirty
>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt
>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth
>copulate and educate
the reason this generation is failing is because we’re not motivated enough to make money. all the people on the dollar bills are dead. they’re not relevant and teens just can’t connect. we need money with memes and beyonce on it
I need to make new friends
"you should have went during lunch"
just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW
"I didn’t really ship it and then I read a fanfic" - a novel by me
I WANT THE SERIES REWRITTEN TO INCLUDE THIS BECAUSE
at this point I’ve nearly forgotten that pirating movies and software is illegal
sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white
Reblogging for that comment
every white drama movie ever
Becky: heather, I can’t believe you would do this to me! he’s my ex
Heather: I love him Becky! you’re just jealous
Becky: *Tackles heather*
*****falls down stairs****
Heather & Becky: *Starts laughing while laying on the bottom step*
Heather: what are we doing? it used to never be like this?
Becky: we would never let a guy get to us like this… I promise never to change again.
Heather: *sticks out pinky*
Have you ever bullshitted an assignment so hard you basically laugh after every sentence you write